Why am I one of only THREE cars still in this parking lot? I really need to learn how to stop and back awayyy from the keyboard like a normal person…*smh*

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via thatawkwardmuggle)